IF YOU SEE ME WALKING BY

Monday, May 27, 2013
I think i need a exercise regime

Work, stress about work, terrible neck and shoulder aches.
I have not been sleeping well the past week.

I've also been bouncing around with emotions on an extreme plane.
I'm either
very happy
very upset
very frustrated
very angry
very loved up

All the above emotions rotate throughout the whole day, every day for the past week.

I could probably roll it into ONE definition called = 'very crazy'.

I just suddenly felt like i wasn't doing things right,
or maybe i'm making the wrong choices,
or shit, why am i feeling like this,
I really had NO idea and just…. felt like CRAP.

The reason i'm writing this down is cos surely there must be other people out there who sometimes feel a bit lost like i do too? I mean, i'd like to portray myself as strong all the time and a super fairy, but i've come to terms that i'm HUMAN and not perfect. I never thought of myself as a perfectionist (cos i never was!!) till i got pissed at myself when i cooked something one day and didn’t get it 100% right. Le hubby said: "Baby, you can't expect a dish to come out perfect the first time you try it." And i found myself thinking RIGHT after he said it: "I DO, YES I DO. Cos it usually happens and i want it to happen ALL the time."

Sound like a psycho right. Anyway back to a thought that made me decide to direct my energy to being more… positive.

"Don't define the energy as good or bad or this specific illness, or that habit, or a terrible painting… that same energy is used to do everything so channel or move it from the mental into the physical. Dance more, paint more, move your body, it will give you the information you need and work out the kinks and toxins, as well as help with unlocking memories. It's not tragic, it's what author Joseph Campbell calls The Hero's Journey. It's what Star Wars was based on and many other movies. It's the story of our lives, our purpose. We are the heroes we've been waiting for."

So i guess i will end now.


Posted at 07:37 am by addictive_bliss
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Sunday, April 17, 2011
Of future rewards

One source defines regret as an intelligent and emotional
dislike for personal past acts and behaviors. Its painful to
look back at our choices through the lens of regret


In the heat of battle it is too late to prepare. Either you are
ready for the challenges of life or you will be haunted by the
what ifs, if onlys, and I shouldves that accompany the
failure to be prepared.

Thats the pain of regret.


In the last 2 days, my understanding is now deepened.
It really is only a thin line between trust and the trashy.
I now know what to do.

May our choices today not result in regret, but rather be
wise and God-honoring.



Posted at 10:57 pm by addictive_bliss
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Sunday, February 13, 2011
Renting DVDs

The good thing about Singapore is that you get Video EZY 
pretty much near lunch places. It's been awhile since we last
rented movies. Probably the last time was in November last year.
That's a good thing really. The man and I actually had more
time to catch movies at the cinema during the holidays.

In fact, we especially decided to rent after watching The Rite.
The man was saying how everytime things get to a climax and
the movie will then take a pause and start to tone down.
Well it is the making of a modern exorcist!
So I told him if he wants some goosebumps, he should watch
The Exocism of Emily Rose.

That's the first DVD
2. Shawshank Redemption (Because we were having lunch at
                                        Botak Jones and their new dish was
                                        named Lambshank redemption)
3. The Machinist (I love Christian Bale, that's why!)   :xheart2:

And... there dont seem to have many good movies lately.
Sad.

 


Posted at 02:36 pm by addictive_bliss
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Saturday, February 05, 2011
CNY 2011

Chinese New Year!

To be honest, it's nothing great.
Not when you have ill-mannered cousins, who think the
whole world owes them.
The real tragedy, however lies with their parents. I dont
need to elaborate how furious that made me. Days without
the mother sure is tougher.

  

I usually keep the money in the ang pow packets and put it
aside in my room.

Sorta like storing good feelings till I throw out the packets
(without the $ in them la oi) at the end of 15 days, where new
year officially ends.
Sometimes I remove the cash to use in emergency when I
really really don't have time to run to the bank.

On the bright side, I gathered most of my other loved ones
had great fun, gambling til wee hours of the morning, stuffing
themselves silly with food and getting lotsa ang baps (if
you're not already married).

To many more better days ahead !


Posted at 09:51 pm by addictive_bliss
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Thursday, January 20, 2011
New life's resolution

I must say i'm a bit sad 2010 is over
it was probably the best bittersweet days in my life yetwhich i
hope is a sign that the future ones are going to
be even better and BETTER.
*hello optimism!*

I don't believe in new year's resolutions nor do i make any cos
i know i'll never stick to them diligently unless it's because I
REALLY WANT TO.
So i've never bothered.

I have, however, made a few new life's resolutions.
I really want to be healthier.
Yes -_- I've come to some sort of stage when i realise my
'live fast die young' lifestyle might last longer if i treat my body
better!

So i'm starting exercise in baby steps
(confession: i don't really exercise >.<)
My current plan is gym twice a week.

I felt really good and happy after that though, like giving people
hugs and having a cup of Chai latte.
Maybe it's my mind playing psychological tricks on me after i've
heard from so many people how good exercise makes you feel.

Next, i want to grow closer to my beloved Father in heaven and
my family on earth. In the last year, ive experienced tons of
God's grace, mercy and love, leaving me wanting more more
and more!

Attending LCG with the man, trying our best to be available for
the bi-weekly sessions. Knowledge is power!

Lastly, one of the hardest things i set myself up, was to forgive.
It's not instant, mind you. It doesnt just happen like - snap ya
fingers - and its over. It's a process. Grace, grace and more
God's grace.


Here's to a worry-less 2011, filled with more love
going around.

*clinks imaginary glass*

Happy New Year!


Posted at 12:51 am by addictive_bliss
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Monday, November 22, 2010
Take over control

So it's been a few weeks and no updates,

Work is eating me alive and sometimes I think the Asian do
until die attitude in me is something people can take advantage
of.


I've also been told that I should let go a little and not to care
too much especially when it isn't my entire responsibility and I
won't be hold accountable to it, but the fact is that I find that
something difficult to do. When someone entrusts me with a
task, I feel like I cannot afford to let them down... but I am
also trying to teach myself that I don't have the capacity to
please everybody.


On another note, gladly I came to realize I haven't woken up
with a hangover in the longest time. Amen to that. (:


Besides that, other aspects in life have been great.


  

  

Especially when life's a beach... and experiencing serenity in
the heart of Malacca with the girls made all the difference.


  

  

Living my dreams ... so good !!


Posted at 01:55 pm by addictive_bliss
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Thursday, October 21, 2010
Heart deposits

Matthew 25:40
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you
did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you
did for me.'

Have come to realise that how i treat a person at any point in
time is pretty much always a direct reflection of how i am
actually treating God at the moment. shocking and uncomfortable!
So when i am annoyed, tired, cranky and stuff (which is.. fairly
often i must admit. sigh. humanness.), i am actually brushing God
off just as similarly. The stuff we do on the outside without
thinking is the stuff our hearts are made of!

So i cannot change my attitude just.. like.. that!
If i want to grow in respect with other people, i have to learn
to rever and fear the Lord of Lords.

Thank you Lord for checking my heart, and caring about my
heart condition.


Posted at 03:09 am by addictive_bliss
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Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Dear Boyfriend

There was once a time when I believed that two people could
be happy, and love each other despite it all,


that good things happen to good people,

and that nice guys won't necessarily finish last.

I'm happy for others when happiness is bestowed upon them
in the form of another human being, and despite being all
cynical, there are days when I look longingly and wonder if I
am living that life once again. Then after a minute, I know,
at this point of time, I'm am - and right now, that's all I really
need.



Posted at 04:44 pm by addictive_bliss
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Monday, September 20, 2010
The little things

i love

sitting under the sun- addicted to the light
mornings and the morning air
the beach at night
being around nature- small flowers, little bugs, wind breezes
reading anywhere and everywhere
scents- beautiful smells, bottled and out in the great outdoors
singing lovee songs
mangosteen
japanese bowls and tea cups
tyre swings
good conversations
big hugs
surprises
the soft sound of the guitar (Like how Jie does it)
cooking for people
smiles, all sorts- i love smiles to the moon and back!
sunflowers
impromptu adventures
laughing so hard that my cheeks hurt
royce dark chocolate
getting dolled up with girlfriends
post-it notes
being a child

(:


Posted at 03:23 pm by addictive_bliss
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Friday, September 17, 2010
His love and faithfulness

Psalm 92:2
to proclaim Your love in the morning, and Your
faithfulness at night..

This verse has been stuck on my phone for the past 2 weeks or
so, and am seeing more and more everyday that this is the life i
want one that can always declare His love and remember the
price of my salvation, and one that rests in His grace and
faithfulness! How stable He is in my instability. when i
remember His love, grace and faithfulness in my terrible sinful
condition, it is the MOST exuberant and empowering feeling!
It feels as though i can do anything in the world! He loves me,
He really loves me!!

The world can take anything away from me, but in my meager
existence thus far, i have realised that there are 2 things i
desperately need.. the brokenness to admit i am an awful sinner;
and the unconditional grace and love of God. combined together
and you have.. a secure, safe and free little venetia (=

Bring joy to your servant, oh Lord, for to you i lift up my soul!

 


Posted at 01:41 am by addictive_bliss
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